From middle school through most of my 20s, I spent a lot of time in and out of therapy. Always trying to figure out why I wasn’t happy. Never understanding why things weren’t changing. Going round and round in circles, staying in the same place. I often felt depressed. Misunderstood. Alone. Frustrated. Like something was wrong with me.
Like I didn't fit into my own life, or like I was living someone else’s life.
For years, I tried to fit into that life. An introvert in a family of extroverts, I tried to make those around me proud, doing the things that would make them happy, completely losing sight of the things that brought me happiness.
And that pattern of putting other peoples’ expectations before my own followed me into adulthood. I moved to California, created a life from scratch, worked in the entertainment industry, and began putting the needs of clients before my own. Eventually, I became so burnt out I was emailing in my sleep and my health started to deteriorate. I found myself stuck in a cycle of isolating, going out and drinking too much, sleeping all weekend, and working like a dog. I was addicted to work - and had never stopped to even think if I was actually enjoying it.
I was living a life I was addicted to, but also hated, which was a weird realization. I ran on adrenaline, putting out fires, actually creating stress by trying to avoid it.
From the outside looking in, things looked like they were shiny and amazing - that my career was bustling and I was on top of the world - but, I felt like I didn’t fit into my own life.
One day, I woke up and realized that I needed to try something different and couldn’t keep going on the way I had been. For what seemed like the first time, I made a decision that was for just for me - not for anyone else. I quit my job without getting advice from others and without a plan. I took four months off from work.
During my time off, I started working with a life coach and my life began to completely transform.
I stopped apologizing, stopped people pleasing, stopped taking care of everyone else at my own expense, learned to say no, and stood up for myself.
My thoughts around my career, about how I dealt with my health, about what I wanted out of life, about what I deserved, about how I felt about myself shifted entirely. I figured out who I WAS (introverted, creative, kind, deserving, and hilarious (no, seriously), what I LIKED (helping people, writing, laughing, resting, not cramming 80 different things into one day, not having a boss), and did things I was terrified to do.
I started stepping into the unknown, I tried new things, I let myself dream, I put myself and my happiness first, I stopped blocking myself from everything I feel in my gut because my thoughts were getting in the way.
I let go of the should’s and stopped trying to be someone else.
I stopped letting fear drive the car at every turn.
I stopped complaining.
I stopped letting negative thoughts become my reality.
And I stopped letting the would’ve, could’ve, should’ves rule my life.
I stretched myself in ways I couldn’t imagine, and I realized one of my deepest desires was to help those who had been just like me - living a life that didn't fit, in pain, struggling, frustrated, and at wit’s end and ready to bust out.
Becoming a coach was a wish I didn’t even know I had, and now, I want to help others uncover and discover their true selves and what they actually want in life.
Are you ready to find a life that fits?
Certified Professional Coach (trained at iPEC)
ELI Master Practitioner (trained at iPEC)
University of Virginia (Bachelor Degree)